Be Mine?

Life is happening so fast. Every time I am about to sit down and blog, another BIG life moment happens. My eyes have been puffy from crying since the inspirational Whitney Houston’s’ passed, it’s Valentine’s day so a bunch of single ladies and I are all sassed up to hit the town in our attempt to embrace our “living in the now” situations and I just received word that my grandmothers husband just died. So let’s recap~

  1. Feeling like I am almost homeless again…long story, but I will figure it out. 🙂
  2. Seriously looking daily for a job, studying up on interviewing & built multiple resume’s
  3. Sang at funeral two weeks ago for a dear and wonderful man
  4. Past co-worker of mine who I served on the Union team with committed suicide…he was a teacher at one of the middle schools.
  5. Was asked to sing at another funeral for an 18 year old shot by local police
  6. Little sister ended up in hospital because after 3 days of natural child birthing, their daughter did not want to say hello to the world. One 3:30am C-section later, I received the text saying everything was good. I’m still recovering from lack of sleep and the emotional roller coaster. So happy everything is peachy now…but big time lack-o-sleep… brain-fogged! P.S. My sis did NOT have an epileptic attack! (that’s what was really on my mind a lot…do you blame me?)
  7. Whitney Houston (my secret mentor since I was very young) suddenly passed…I have a HUGE reaction I had no idea how much she influenced my soul
  8. Cried in front of my band…I don’t usually lose it in front of people. They were very supportive and understood. Re-applied make-up and we had a quick photo shoot….LOL!
  9. Meet with producer who wants to work with me and my ballroom dance partner. Put on shows and such…maybe this will be something? I don’t know…
  10. Valentines night…it’s all good! I have some beautiful woman to hang out with and we all are dressing up just because we want to! Let’s rally!!!
  11. Told my grandmothers grandpa just died.
  12. Gotta blog….

I’m not complaining, nor am I looking for sympathy…life happens and it’s all beautiful in some way. People are a gift and we should be sure to treasure them while they choose to be in our lives. I try not to take others or the air I breath for granted…I try to listen to my own heart beat and for those genuine who are around me. I will go out tonight with a woman who is pregnant and the father of the child isn’t participating right now, another woman who is trying to stop her world from crumbling & re-build her business, another intensely intellectual who owns her own house is a teacher of alternative “throw-away” kids because she has such a big heart and another woman who has owned her own trucking business and is an author!~all of these amazing woman are sharply professional, sassy, strong, trying to “bounce-back” and each one has their own amazing story.

Everyone does…I just choose to listen deeply to my soul and to those things around me. So, my own story of music will be greatly affected by these past two weeks…February has apparently turned into the month of seed planting in my heart and preparation for whatever music will come of it. I am scared, but I know I am not alone. We all have stories…happy valentines day…love the one your with, those around you and please don’t forget to love yourself.



2 thoughts on “Be Mine?

  1. Mike Barratt says:

    It’s amazing how you’ve been able to persevere through all these tough times and tragedy. It’s surely a sign of your strength. I know for me, music is a great outlet to release emotions and to use these type of moments for inspiration. Thank you for sharing!

    • ila Selene says:

      That was kind of you to say Mike. You are absolutely correct…some of the intensities have given music and other creative outlets in my life. The right brain is a beautiful thing to embrace.
      Much love your way today!

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