What do you think…Advice

IMG_1054Ila,
You gotta listen to this song by mumford and sons. It is the soundtrack to this part of my personal movie. It is a little obscure (lyrics below) but it is about losing the love of his life cause she is choosing her dreams/goals over him and how their kids are gonna learn to protect themselves against women (insert the right gender for my situation).
Susanna, (my daughter) misses him desperately.  She is not gonna let anyone else in. 😦
Love you
**SEE SONG LYRICS BELOW**

oh my word…those lyrics are epic. I’ll look up the song on-line and see if I can listen to it. So sorry about the pain you and Susanna are experiencing.

Susanna will become a beautiful young woman who let’s the right people in and although she may make others prove their love, perhaps that is her walk in this life to do so. Anotherwords, without sounding crass or insensitive, I often wondered why some of the children I would assist at the school went through such “unlucky” or “unfair” situations.

Why was it their harsh lessons to learn at such a young age?

But then I’d think about all I’d been through and some of the unfair situations that crossed my path when I was a youth. Due to my studious nature and deep desire to continually learn, those situations became my teacher…my teacher for the bigger situations around the corner that I would face. Without the smaller teachers, I would have faltered during the larger lessons or even when the “attacks” of life came.

I guess what I’m saying is, the greater picture or the larger vantage point reminded me that not all of these kids were going to grow up to become Homeless Liaisons like I was…some had paths I could NEVER take nor understand and so…they had to learn lessons beyond my own comprehension.

I had to not ask the question why, but rather the question, how.

How am I to play a part? How am I supposed to guide and nurture? How am I to be the best of myself and therefore be whatever it is they need (even in a small way) to prepare them for their future quests?

Big or small, the pain, suffering, joy and laughter are just setting us up for our tomorrows and how we will walk through them.

Susanna is highly intelligent & loves to learn….I am so VERY thankful for that.

sincerely,
ila

**Subject: Monster**
So we were up
Thowin’ dice in the dark
I saw you late, last night, come to harm
I saw you dance in the devil’s armsThe night kept coming
Really nothing I could do
Eyes with a fire, unquenched, by peace
Curse the beauty, curse the queenSo we come
To a place of no return
Yours is the face, that makes my body burn
And here is the name that our sons will learn:
Curse the beauty, curse the queen
Curse the beauty, leave me

So when you’re weak
When you are on your knees
I’ll do my best, with the time, that’s left
Sworn with your spirit, you’re fully fleshed

So fuck your dreams
And don’t you pick at our seams
I’ll turn into a monster for you, If you pay me enough
None of this counts, a few dreams, plowed up

So we come
To a place of no return
Yours is the face, which makes my body burn
And here is the name, that our sons will learn:
Curse the beauty, curse the queen
Curse the beauty, leave me

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