What do you think…Advice

You gotta listen to this song by mumford and sons. It is the soundtrack to this part of my personal movie. It is a little obscure (lyrics below) but it is about losing the love of his life cause she is choosing her dreams/goals over him and how their kids are gonna learn to protect themselves against women (insert the right gender for my situation).
Susanna, (my daughter) misses him desperately.  She is not gonna let anyone else in. 😦
Love you

oh my word…those lyrics are epic. I’ll look up the song on-line and see if I can listen to it. So sorry about the pain you and Susanna are experiencing.

Susanna will become a beautiful young woman who let’s the right people in and although she may make others prove their love, perhaps that is her walk in this life to do so. Anotherwords, without sounding crass or insensitive, I often wondered why some of the children I would assist at the school went through such “unlucky” or “unfair” situations.

Why was it their harsh lessons to learn at such a young age?

But then I’d think about all I’d been through and some of the unfair situations that crossed my path when I was a youth. Due to my studious nature and deep desire to continually learn, those situations became my teacher…my teacher for the bigger situations around the corner that I would face. Without the smaller teachers, I would have faltered during the larger lessons or even when the “attacks” of life came.

I guess what I’m saying is, the greater picture or the larger vantage point reminded me that not all of these kids were going to grow up to become Homeless Liaisons like I was…some had paths I could NEVER take nor understand and so…they had to learn lessons beyond my own comprehension.

I had to not ask the question why, but rather the question, how.

How am I to play a part? How am I supposed to guide and nurture? How am I to be the best of myself and therefore be whatever it is they need (even in a small way) to prepare them for their future quests?

Big or small, the pain, suffering, joy and laughter are just setting us up for our tomorrows and how we will walk through them.

Susanna is highly intelligent & loves to learn….I am so VERY thankful for that.


**Subject: Monster**
So we were up
Thowin’ dice in the dark
I saw you late, last night, come to harm
I saw you dance in the devil’s armsThe night kept coming
Really nothing I could do
Eyes with a fire, unquenched, by peace
Curse the beauty, curse the queenSo we come
To a place of no return
Yours is the face, that makes my body burn
And here is the name that our sons will learn:
Curse the beauty, curse the queen
Curse the beauty, leave me

So when you’re weak
When you are on your knees
I’ll do my best, with the time, that’s left
Sworn with your spirit, you’re fully fleshed

So fuck your dreams
And don’t you pick at our seams
I’ll turn into a monster for you, If you pay me enough
None of this counts, a few dreams, plowed up

So we come
To a place of no return
Yours is the face, which makes my body burn
And here is the name, that our sons will learn:
Curse the beauty, curse the queen
Curse the beauty, leave me


Amazing Prospect music-A festival recap


Well hello there! I think it’s time for a musical update as I wonder through this great entertainment journey. I’m surrounded by musicians and dancers, which is a DREAM COME TRUE! Everyone is such a tremendous talent and everyone has great purpose, so when I meet these wonderful people and have the chance to hang with them, I’m in absolute heaven. Awww if only every day could be like this. 🙂 Did you notice the backdrop of the stage I’m standing in front of? Those windows behind me were beautiful from the audience perspective…GREAT idea! I’m just sayin’. Ans yes…that is my little trumpet kazoo…a gift from a talented musician friend.


I sang with The Bathtub Gin Serenaders at a beautiful outdoor festival called Music in the Mountains (check them out on Facebook too) This festival is a class-act. There are lots of organic food choices with a BBQ country-vibe, talented vendors you can buy everything from trinkets to snuggly fingerless gloves (I bought my awesome wedding gloves at this festival!) and MUSIC! The crowd was welcoming and despite the over cast, we had a fun-filled gig. I never know what silliness will fly out of my mouth and this gig was definitely one of those moments…laughter abounded because it wasn’t just me this time spouting funnies, the entire gang got involved this time. I loved it. And thankfully so did the crowd of 100’s…FEW! (wipes brow)

After the 1st day of the festival, most of the musicians met out on the Prospect Hotel porch and jammed…it was amazing. I guess this is a tradition the Prospect Hotel owners hold near and dear and of course once you are there, everyone can see why. We didn’t know one another, but the music did and that’s all we needed. Fantastic porch jam session…I am soooo bringing a recorder next time!

Here are some shots of the fun!IMG_2861


Earlier that day I found out I’d be sleeping in my very own RV! The rest of the band made other arrangements, so I got to have the place all to myself. I found out later that a local RV business in Central Point Oregon DONATED all of his RV’s to the bands as a friendly gesture to both the musicians and Prospect Hotels management. Someone even made little signs for us so we could find our way…check it out.


So thoughtful…and did I mention I had a blast! 🙂 You all MUST go next year and hopefully we will get booked again! A big thank you to all those who put everything together! It’s my first official “musician staying in an RV after her show” moment. Hec yes, I took pictures! Wouldn’t you?

IMG_2856I had fun needless to say and the actual festival was amazing.

We had fabulous food in the Hotel restaurant that night…and drinks OF COURSE.


And then…BOY DID IT POUR RAIN!! I headed over to the local pub because I was nowhere near ready to catch ZZzzz’s. Of course there was karaoke and I thought well why not!? For those of you who know me, you know by now that I had a HUGE fear and loathing of karaoke. I could sing to a stadium full of excited Football fans (1st person to sing the National Anthem on the U of O stadium floor! I was 17…) but ask me to speak in public, sing to small crowds or kareoke…forget it man! I know, it’s ridiculous, but it was my reality. Like everything else, I MADE myself sing karaoke (with help from a wonderful girlfriend Carrie Hopfinger; I love you and thank you much!). So singing tonight out in the middle of Prospect, pouring rain outside and only a handful of people in the Trophy Room and knowing I had a wonderful “musicians RV” to settle in for the night, it seemed fitting to continue to face that fear. Hey, everyone has fears…just don’t let them hold you back. FACE IT. If you don’t, it’ll face you and stick its nasty tongue out at you and crush everything you’ve worked so hard for. I constantly do things that I know I will fail at…then I get better. 🙂 Face it…you will sooner than later anyway.

As I worked my way through the mud, torrential ran and trying to find my RV in the dark-I was happy I’d done some more singing, met some friendly faces and even met a chef that promised to hooked me up with an outstanding dessert he’d created. yum.

A long drive brought me to a wonderful place and even more wonderful experiences. Freakin’ fantastic. I listened to the pelting rain on the RV roof and slowly fell asleep.

I had no idea how the following days events would revile new cracks in my heart…both musically and personally.


The classic, relaxed, gamer Seattle Bride

I recently shot a beautiful brides wedding in Seattle WA. I’d known the groom since he was a pre-teen and I couldn’t be more pleased when they asked me to attend the wedding. His bride (now wife! Craziness how time does fly…) was stunning. Their wedding was the lavish Rose Garden with the reception by the ocean. They added sweet touches here and there creating a relaxed and classy garden-lace theme…it was a fantastic combination. I had a wonderful time shooting it. This wedding…out of all the weddings I’ve ever shot…absolutly WINS hands down for food. I STUFFED my pre-wedding bridal face and didn’t even care about the possible inches I was adding that I’d have to work off in the coming weeks in order to fit my own perfect wedding dress…my taste buds couldn’t get enough. PERFECT blends.

Her venue where the amazing Seattle food was:DSC_0086

Seattle Garden were picture backdrop options were endless: (I’ll only post a few, but OH MY there’s sooo many more I could share!)

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Her shoes I loved because they were made with love by her sister and oh-so creative: I’m obsessed…

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Little hints she gave that made their day really “their” day:

The bridal party and the brides parents played a guessing game before the big walk down the aisle while they hid in the brush (quit literally!) I was instructed not to make the bride feel too “watched” so I was super happy I got a chance to capture this family moment. AND BONUS! It really relaxed everyone! They were very distracted and REALLY into their game…it was hilarious.


The bridal party had a guys vs. girls tournament in the gazebo just moments before this signing the marriage license moment was captured. They raised their honored weapons (fairy wands and swords that represented the playful love and relationship of the newlyweds) in a “protective” knights in shining armor way. Again, the bride really knows her friends…they all laughed and continued to enjoy their romantically fun-filled day to honor their friends.



The bride and groom found each other in the midst of battle…too cute.


DSC_0005Another game-lovers choice…scrabble rings of love.
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They do love their games, so these blocks were the CLEAR choice winner for this couple when it came to their guest book. EVERYONE was talking about this added touch all night…not only did guests enjoy the creative way they could leave their signature stamp of approval, but they knew the couple would play this game in the future and re-visit their names, re-live their special day and think fondly of each person in attendance.


Simple decor reflects the entire no-fuss attitude of the event…bright gerbera daisies were the PERFECT fit for the happy, relaxed & playful with classic twist waterfront atmosphere the couple strove for with their pop of green and orange colors.


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They love dinasorse…enough said. For them…absolute cuteness and heaven.

No pictures of the food…sorry folks. I sent them a few shots of it, but they wouldn’t let me work anymore because they wanted me to eat and enjoy myself. Every time I tried to sneak a food display shot or get up to take picture of the evenings events I got the bride stare-down, so of course, I complied & sat right back down…she was like a hawk! I was forced to enjoy myself and be a guest. Go to the Blue Ribbon yourself. It’s worth the drive. I know my tummy was VERY satisfied.